We’re back, Marvel fans, with another episode of She-Hulk: Lawyer, this one titled “Mean, Green, and Straight Poured into These Jeans.” Maybe it’s this episode finally leads to something significant or guides the story in an interesting direction. I guess we’ll find out. Let’s do it.
What happens in She-Hulk episode 5
Just to recap, last week’s episode ended with Jen receiving court papers from Titania over the use of the name She-Hulk. That story takes off in the latest episode, where we see that the supervillain has created an entire product line based on the name. And since she was smart enough to trademark the name before anyone else, well, it’s hers to use.
Anyway, the always “dressed up” Jen is sitting on a couch eating cereal when her cousin Ched comes in with some boxes full of Titania’s merchandise. He makes a killing delivering the products and is surprised to learn they don’t belong to Jen. He then tries to explain how trademarks work, leaving Jen frustrated. This is fun.
Later, Jen and Nikki explore Titania’s product line and confront the villain in a scene that happens and then ends. We cut to Jen’s office, where the half-restored She-Hulk insists she’s not mad about the Titania test. Then she smashes a stapler. Moments later, Pug asks Nikki to help him pick up some sneakers – Iron Man Threes – and reveals that he has a drip broker who knows a lot of people. Nikki asks if he can find someone to make custom clothes for Jen’s Hulk form and off we go… I think.
Pug and Nikki show up to a local looking for Alonzo. An Asian-looking man behind the counter insists that this is nothing more than a boba cafe. Nikki tries to speak Chinese, which surprises the young worker. “Was it Chinese? I’m not Chinese,” he says, to which Nikki replies, “I feel so ashamed.” I actually laughed at this scene! The young man eventually leads them to a back room where he displays rejected Avengers merch – called “Avongers” and “Avingers”. Pug and Nikki buy some equipment in favor of meeting the guy. They go to another unknown location where they managed to secure a meeting with the guy. Thrilling stuff.
Back with a half-rendered She-Hulk, Holden Holliway is slightly disturbed by Titania’s lawsuit and decides to let Mallory Book fight it out in court. “But if you want to be my client, dress like you respect yourself, and not like a football player pleading no contest to a DUI.” It’s actually a funny line, but also indicative of the show as a whole. Who needs good courtroom drama when you can have it fashion? (Showrunner Jessica Gao admitted a while back that her team was inept at writing exciting court scenes, in case you were wondering why every courtroom bit into She-Hulk falls flat on his face.) Titania’s team defends their client by playing a clip of Jen saying, “She-Hulk is not my name,” which Mallory counters by playing a clip of a news anchor dubbing Jen “She-Hulk. ” Intense court stuff.
Then, after the exciting sequence, half-rendered She-Hulk and Nikki meet with the superhero’s fashion designer, Luke. He’s basically Edna from The Incredibles, but not as funny. He is not impressed by She-Hulk and initially rejects her as a client, but he can’t do it himself. After all, she might be an Avenger at some point.
Back at the office, a half-rendered She-Hulk runs into Todd, the creepy guy she dated last episode, if memory serves. In any case, the point of this scene is to establish that Jen used the name “She-Hulk” on her dating app — “That’s how I win this case,” she says. Now we’re back in the courtroom, where Mallory shows Jen’s Tinder-like profile, which clearly has the name and slogan: “Mean, Green, and Straight Poured into These Jeans.” Hey, that’s the episode title (and also a good way to describe the episode itself)!
Mallory calls the assortment of men Jen met through the dating app as witnesses. They all testify that she did indeed use the name, but reiterate how much they weren’t into her. Then the question, “Would you have gone on the date if she had been Jennifer Walters?” Self apparently perfect man Says no. And just like that, the judge dismisses the case. Enthralling.
But now Jen’s hurt, you see? She’s just She-Hulk. Nobody likes Jen Walters. Mallory tells her she can do better and then takes her out for a drink. “You can have superpowers and some guy with an internet connection will think he can do better.” Jen laughs at this comment and drunkenly exclaims, “I’m so glad we’re friends now,” an act that embarrasses Mallory, who quickly takes her leave. “I thought you got better clothes,” she says. Drama.
Jen goes back to Luke and finds a bunch of clothes waiting for her. The show teases this as a big reveal we’ll all be holding our breath until next week — and then finally gives us what we’ve been wanting to see all along: Daredevil. Well, the man doesn’t appear in this episode, but we see his helmet in Luke’s office, which is enough to pique my interest.
Final Thoughts on She-Hulk Episode 5
This is the problem with Marvel. Even if there’s bland content for weeks on end, when they sense we’ve lost interest, they’ll throw in a clever cameo or two to lure us back. It’s the perfect strategy. A used by Hawkeye (with Kingpin) and WandaVision (with Quicksilver). Most of us tuned in She-Hulk out of curiosity for the show itself, but mostly because the ads predominantly featured Hulk and Daredevil. I think most viewers are stuck because they want to see Matt Murdock’s alter ego finally displayed in the MCU. And you know what? If they beat Daredevil, maybe the pain and suffering I’ve endured to see She-Hulk will be worth it.
Damn, Marvel… you’re good.
Anyway, this episode was pretty uneventful. Things happened, followed by more things. Problems arose and were quickly overcome. The biggest obstacle in Jen’s life seems to be that no one… likes her? Which is odd considering Nikki has been crushing on Jen since the first scene of the first episode, she has the easiest job on the planet, makes enough money to afford a really nice apartment in Los Angeles, and has superpowers. What’s the problem again?
This is the problem with She-Hulk: there is no drama. And when there is drama, it’s not dramatic enough to worry about. Plus, it’s just not fun. Barring a few good lines, I’d bet anyone outside the 40-something, wine-drinking, single-woman crowd—the kind of people who consider Sex and the City high art — groans more than chuckles.
It’s all a matter of opinion, of course. Personally I think She-Hulk falls in line with most of Marvel’s recent bland offerings. I’m not particularly engaged in any of its stories or “mysteries” and I have no idea where any of this is going; or whether it actually goes anywhere. But you know what? Next week power feature Daredevil … so I tune in … again.