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A man’s biggest enemy is his own ego

To master your life, you must master yourself first.

The only thing that is between you and the life you want is …

… You.

If you are a man, your ego more often stands in the way than a road sign when you arrive late for a meeting. Society has asked you to falsify it until you do, and act invincible because this will give you a promotion and protect you from emotional wounds. But the success is superficial.

You’ve seen men with huge inflated egos who seem to have “done it”. The cocky playboy, the arrogant entrepreneur, the narcissistic fitness model. It works great on the surface, but in the end, your ego’s fears will hold you back.

You are afraid of being hurt, so your ego shuts you off – making deep and meaningful relationships impossible.

You’re afraid of not being worthy without a good job, so your ego is forcing you to work harder – making unconditional love for yourself impossible.

You are afraid of losing your masculinity and status, so you behave like a macho man – which makes it impossible to process your experiences better and express your authentic self.

Your ego is the sum of your experiences. All it wants to do is protect you. But it is not always best for you in the long run. As Tim Ferriss said:

“What we fear most to do is usually what we need most to do.”

Your ego is a master of manipulation. Instead of succumbing to her fears and getting stuck, pay attention to how it holds you back. Then you can set yourself free and live the life you really want.

Your ego would rather win than do the right thing

“You can not win a war. Another just loses.”– Alexandra Christo

One often has to choose between doing what feels good and what feels right.

On my last family visit, I got into a big quarrel with my grandmother. We can both teach a mule a few things about stubbornness, so neither of us wanted to go into caves, not even on my last day. There was only one problem: My grandfather was getting old.

I knew the only chance to see him before I left was to let go of my anger at my grandmother first. My ego told me not to, but I swallowed my pride, made peace with her, and had a good talk with my grandfather. A few weeks after I left, he died in his sleep.

Had I listened to my ego, I would not have seen him one last time, but instead lived with lifelong regrets.

Your ego loves to win, whether it’s in arguments, relationships or at work.

It feels good to be right or to do the project your way – you are the boss.

But this is misleading and only feels good at the moment. When you realize what you’ve done, regrets hit you like a Mike Tyson liver. Then do the right thing.

Winning does not mean shit. There is no reward for how many times you were right.

Instead of insisting on having taken over, imagine your 80-year-old self looking back at the decision you are about to make.

So ask yourself: “What feels good – and what feels right?”

Your ego does not make you a great man, it just makes you feel like one

“To feed the ego is to starve wisdom, the choice is yours.”– Efrat Cybulkiewicz

The moment you think you know it all is usually followed by the realization that you are not doing it.

A few years ago I bought a monster on two wheels. I have always loved motorcycles, so it was only a matter of time. My mother told me to be careful – and I told myself I wanted to be.

But I got cocky. My ego made me feel like I was Valentino Rossi myself, and cut corners like Gordon Ramsey who cut chicken thighs. Then I became humble.

The only thing I remember is that I leaned into a corner and woke up next to the crash barrier, an arm’s length short from a cliff. As I looked around in a haze, I noticed that I had knocked a cyclist off his bike. Fortunately, no one was seriously injured – but I will never forget the fright and the years of guilt.

Your ego loves to make you feel invincible and as if you know it all.

Many men would rather burn their steak, get lost by trying to read a card or run their company and relationships in the ground instead of admitting they need help.

But that’s what keeps you going.

No one was born a superman. Society expects you to have figured it all out, but there is no shame in admitting that you are not the biggest, best, or smartest person in space. If you want to be the best man you can be, be humble and admit that you are not there yet.

It’s the only way to learn.

Put your ego aside and ask yourself: “Will I behave like a master, or will I be?”

Your ego thrives on external validation instead of inner self-esteem

“Big egos are big shields for lots of empty space.”– Diana Black

The most successful people are not always the happiest.

High school was effortless for me. I could play video games for ten hours a day and still be at the top of the class. But not everything was unicorns peeing rainbows.

I quickly learned that good grades gave me praise and love, bad a stern look and the instruction to do better.

My achievement did not come from a deep love for myself, but the fear of not being enough.

Society puts a lot of pressure on men. Make lots of money, but also spend time with your family. Be vulnerable and sensitive, but also invincible and strong. Crush all the “manly” tasks like repairing sinks and changing tires, whether you like them or not. But that’s not even the biggest problem.

As men, we often tie our self-esteem to our achievements. The shiny car, hot girlfriend and big biceps become part of your identity. That is why the male ego is so fragile.

We are conditioned to base our self-esteem on our performance, shown through the status symbols we earn.

It’s a race you can not win. There will always be more. Even Jeff Bezos’ $ 400 million yacht was not enough, so he ventured out into space.

You must understand that you are worthy as a human being, regardless of your achievements, achievements or bank statements.

Strive to be the best man you can be. But instead of letting your ego burn you with fear, act from a place of love for yourself. Do it because you are worth it.

Next time you feel like meeting society’s expectations, ask yourself: “Do I act out of fear or out of a deep love for myself and others?”

The 3 questions that will help you put your ego aside

The moment you become aware of the ego within you, it is strictly no longer the ego, but just an old, conditioned mind pattern. Ego involves unconsciousness. Consciousness and ego cannot exist side by side. “ – Eckhart Tolle

Your ego is not entirely bad – but there are two sides to every medal.

It gives you a sense of self and identity. It makes you you. And it protects you from potential harm.

However, these efforts are often wrong. Want to win instead of doing the right thing. To behave as if you have figured it all out deprives yourself of the opportunity to learn and grow. To base your self-esteem on your performance instead of your inherent value as a human being. It is like a heat-seeking missile distracted by flare causing side damage.

Instead of blindly following your ego, ask yourself these questions before you act:

  1. What feels good – and what feels right?
  2. Will I behave like a master, or will I become one?
  3. Do I act out of fear or out of a deep love for myself and others?

“A bad day for your ego is a good day for your soul.” – Jillian Michaels

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