Selena Gomez’s press tour for her documentary My mind and me continued today with the publication of a very thorough cover story to Rolling stoneswhere Gomez discusses everything: her secret battle with psychosis, how her diagnosis of bipolar disorder has changed her life (including her future plans to have children), why she moved to New York City, and how Hailey Bieber’s Call your father podcast interviewwhere Hailey talked about Gomez and her husband Justin Bieber’s romantic relationship for the first time, affected her.
“Someone made a comment and it involved me, and then for two days I felt bad about myself,” she said, without explicitly referring to Hailey by name. She added that in the past, these types of incidents “could have set her back for months,” the outlet noted.
But Gomez spoke up a day later on TikTok Live, and encourages his fans to show kindness. “I thought, I just wanted to say, ‘Everyone should be nice to each other.’ Everyone’s just focusing on what’s going on in the real world,” Gomez recalled. She and Hailey eventually hung out and were photographed together at the Academy’s Museum Gala last month. Gomez told Vulture of the reunion and it’s a signal to everyone that there is peace between her and Hailey, “Yeah, it’s not a big deal. It’s not even a thing.”
Here are the highlights of what Gomez said Rolling stones. You can read the piece in its entirety here.
What living with bipolar disorder has really been like for her:
“I want to be very open with everybody about this: I’ve been to four treatment centers. I think when I started coming in my early twenties, when it started to get really dark, when I started to feel, that I had no control over what I felt, whether it was really good or really bad.”
When she had low episodes: “It would start with depression, then it would go into isolation. Then it was just that I couldn’t move from my bed. I didn’t want anyone to talk to me. My friends would bring me food because they love me, but none of us knew what it was. Sometimes I would be in bed for weeks when even going downstairs would leave me out of breath.”
She admitted that she spent a few years contemplating suicide, although she never actually attempted it. “I thought the world would be better if I wasn’t there.”
On Taylor Swift being her only industry friend and struggling with fame:
(Gomez also talked about Camila Cabello, Cara Delevingne and Miley Cyrus being invited to her 30th birthday party, but Swift has long been a very close friend of hers.)
Gomez envisioned a very different life for herself back in Texas. “I grew up thinking I’d be married at 25,” she says. “It destroyed me that I wasn’t near it – couldn’t be further from it. It was so stupid, but I really thought my world was over.”
She felt she had few people with whom she could share her fears, but she also found it difficult to relate to those in Hollywood. “I never fit in with a cool group of girls who were celebrities,” she said. “My only friend in the industry is really Taylor [Swift], so I remember feeling like I didn’t belong. I felt the presence of everyone around me who lived a full life. I had this position and I was really happy, but … was I? Do these materialistic things make me happy? [I realized] I just didn’t like who I was because I didn’t know who I was.”
On having an episode of psychosis in 2018 and being diagnosed with bipolar disorder:
Gomez started hearing voices in 2018, and Rolling stones reported that sheremembers only snippets of this time, but she knows she ended up in a treatment facility where she spent months suspended in paranoia, unable to trust anyone, believing they were all out to get her. Her friends have since told her she was unrecognizable during this period.”
One of the scariest things about psychosis was not knowing when it would end, Gomez said. She found herself slowly “going out of psychosis,” she said. It was then that she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and put on a lot of medication as doctors tried to figure out what worked for her.
On all those drugs, “it was just that I was gone,” she said. “There was no part of me that was there anymore.” When Gomez left the facility, she found a psychiatrist who “realized she was on a lot of medications she shouldn’t have been on and took her off all but two.” Rolling stones wrote.
“He really guided me,” Gomez said. “But I basically had to detox from the medication I was on. I had to learn to remember certain words. I would forget where I was when we talked. It took a lot of hard work for me to (a) accept that I was bipolar, but (b) learn to deal with it because it wasn’t going to go away.”
Regarding her donated kidney, which potentially has a limited shelf life, and how her medication may affect her plans to have children one day, Gomez shared Rolling stones that the organ may only last for 30 years. “Which is fine,” she said. “I’d like to ‘Peace out’ anyway.”
She also revealed that she has to remain on two drugs she takes to manage her bipolar disorder, “she probably won’t be able to carry her own children,” the paper wrote. “It’s a very big, big, present thing in my life [her hope to be a mother someday],” she said, adding that she believes that “wherever I’m meant to have them, I will.”
On why she moved to New York City and her plans to “disappear” after documentary promo:
Gomez likes that New York is a place where people just want to leave her alone more. “I have people who literally tell me, ‘Stop saying you don’t like LA,” she said. “But to be honest, my schedule in New York is the crème de la crème. I have my system there, I have my training there, I have my coffee places there. I get to walk and breathe there and be inspired by New York City and the people and the life there.”
“I like all slush and rough,” she added of the New York winters. “I love being around all the Jewish grandmothers. Nothing compares to being in your home in a blanket by the fireplace, just reading or watching something.”
Gomez added that she plans to disappear once her documentary push is complete. “This is probably the most you’ll hear about me for a while. I want to get this out, but I also want this behind me. Every now and then it’s important to just disappear.”
Alyssa Bailey is senior news and strategy editor at ELLE.com, where she oversees celebrity and royal coverage (especially Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton). She has previously held positions at With style and Cosmopolitan. When she’s not working, she loves running around Central Park, getting people to take #ootd pictures of her, and exploring New York City.